Blue TSUNAMI
Last night, Republicans lost, well,
everything
, including the House, Senate, and many competitive gubernatorial races, meaning unfortunately, you’re not getting those $5,000 checks from Daddy Trump. Kansas, South Carolina, and
Texas
, where all six genders agreed with James Talarico that God is non-binary, went blue. And my home, DC, voted to ban foie gras. The one upside is, the polls and prediction markets were finally… predictive? And AI was on people’s minds, but not seemingly driving their votes. At the end of the day, when a main message of your presidential campaign was fixing the cost of living, and the cost of living is
not good
, and voters think you started another dumb war, and also that you’re corrupt — your party tends to lose “big league,” to borrow Trump’s language. Practically speaking, my advice: put those pronouns back in your bio, hire a lawyer, and pray that God shows his/her/their mercy.
Wokipedia Strikes Again
Monday, investigative reporter Ashley Rindsberg revealed that a Wikipedia editor scrubbed several unflattering details from Abdul El-Sayed’s entry in the month leading up to the midterms, including a paragraph concerning El-Sayed’s “tensions with Michigan’s Jewish community.” (Descriptions of the aspiring senator’s joint appearances with aspiring murderer Hasan Piker were also reduced.) “Another half month of this shit,” the anonymous editor (who, according to Ashley, is one of the most active contributors to the DSA’s Wikipedia page) noted in mid-October. Meanwhile, a new poll of 2,000 Gen Z voters found 77% got their election news exclusively from influencers, and recent studies show at least ~35% of political influencers are paid by candidates. Basically: it’s increasingly impossible to ascertain reality… unless you literally lure an elected official into your basement, get them drunk, and grill them for hours. Maybe that should replace kissing babies as a classic campaign staple? An idea.
This Israeli late, bro
In an interview with Fox & Friends yesterday, to the horror of the boomers watching, Trump announced a deal with Netanyahu to draw U.S. aid to Israel down to zero later this year. In justifying the $4B cut, which Israel is apparently “fine with,” Trump specifically touted the move as an optics win — “Why should we suffer the slings from lunatics like [Michigan’s Abdul] El-Sayed… It’s a bad talking point” — while claiming he had the deal in place “months ago” and… wait.
What in the beeper did he just say??
You made this deal
months ago?!
And are announcing it NOW??? After millions of voters who blame Israel for gas prices/banana prices/the weather ALREADY went to the polls?!? My guy: next time, please make these statements
before
literally Election Day. Anyways, at press time, the president could be heard complaining about his cellphone overheating and strange, threatening voicemails delivered in Hebrew…
What did you think?
Your reaction is separate from the prediction. It won’t change your rule.