Unreasonable People

Why can’t people just be reasonable? This is a sensible question to ask, but before attempting to answer it, we should consider what reasonableness entails.

Being reasonable means being reason-able—able, that is, to give reasons for holding the beliefs that we do, as well as for acting as we do. Thinkers (with a capital T) will be eminently reasonable. By definition, such individuals will rely on evidence-based reasoning in determining what to believe and how to act. As a result, if their beliefs or actions are challenged, their reasons will be ready at hand.

In contrast, Feelers (with a capital F) won’t reason their way to conclusions; they will feel their way. Stated metaphorically, instead of relying on their head to decide what to believe and what actions to take, they will rely on their heart and gut. The problem is that these organs are incapable of reasoning. Consequently, if we ask Feelers to justify their beliefs or actions, they will be at a loss to provide their reasons. They might say “Just because,” but that isn’t a reasoned response. They might also refuse to give their reasons—perhaps because they don’t have any to give?

Even though they have trouble justifying their beliefs, Feelers will often be emotionally attached to them. As a result, they might get upset or even angry if those beliefs are challenged. This might also be their response if we ask them to explain why they favor a certain course of action.

Suppose that, on being challenged, Thinkers are unable to come up with coherent, evidence-based justifications for their beliefs or actions. Under these circumstances, Thinkers won’t respond by getting upset or angry. They will instead rethink the belief or course of action we have challenged. They might also thank us for revealing their shortcoming. Thinkers, as we have seen, are intellectually humble. Their goal is not to maintain the appearance of infallibility; it is to optimize their mind by filling it, to the extent possible, with true and useful beliefs.

Before moving on, recall that the world isn’t neatly divided into Thinkers and Feelers. On the contrary, there is an intellectual spectrum, with Feelers at one end, Thinkers at the other, and most people somewhere in the middle, depending on the extent to which they feel or reason their way to conclusions.

That said, there are more people on the Feeler side of the spectrum than on the Thinker side. Stated bluntly, Feelers outnumber Thinkers. This is presumably because reasoning your way to conclusions requires more mental effort than feeling your way. Consequently, people are inclined to take the easy way out and feel rather than think their way to conclusions. Along similar lines, because it requires physical effort to exercise, adults who rarely exercise far outnumber those who routinely do so.

With respect to the intellectual spectrum, another comment is in order. There are no “pure Thinkers”—no people who exclusively reason their way to conclusions. Because of our evolutionary past, we humans are wired with an emotional element. We can take steps to reduce the influence it has on our beliefs and actions, but we cannot eliminate that influence. That said, “pure Feelers”—people who exclusively feel their way to conclusions—do exist; indeed, a month after your birth, you were one of them. Furthermore, if you slip into dementia, you might again become a pure Feeler.

Because Feelers outnumber them, Thinkers often find themselves having to deal with unreasonable people. This is difficult to do because the individuals in question won’t listen to reason; indeed, if we try to help them out by providing important information we think they lack, they might respond by cutting us off mid-sentence.

This would be bad enough, but Thinkers also have to deal with individuals who—despite being unreasonable (or maybe it’s because they are unreasonable?)—have acquired power over others. For Thinkers, such cases are the stuff of nightmares. They will have spent considerable time and energy developing their reasoning ability and might subsequently have used it to help other people rid themselves of mistaken beliefs, as well as abandon potentially ruinous courses of action. This reasoning ability will have become their superpower. On encountering unreasonable people who wield power, however, they are like Superman exposed to kryptonite. Their superpower will drain away.

Consider, then, the predicament of a Thinker whose life is being marred by an unreasonable person—maybe their boss, their caregiver in a nursing home, or—as improbable as it might sound—an elected official. This Thinker’s misery will be compounded by their feeling of powerlessness: “Why can’t people just be reasonable?” Why, indeed.

Need more food for thought? Click here for my past essays, listed by title.

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Paid subscribers can also listen to my initial 22 posts on their favorite podcast app, such as Spotify. Open the app, search for “Thinking More and Better,” and add episodes to your playlist. These are the posts in which I explain what is involved in being a Thinker, with a capital T, instead of a Feeler. By listening to them in order, you can, in under two hours, gain a full understanding of the Thinker concept.