the art of not bleeding in front of sharks

the art of not bleeding in front of sharks

emotional discretion and learning who deserves to know the things that hurt you

ayushi thakkar

Oct 27, 2026

∙

Paid

168

1

36

Share

i have a habit of wanting people to understand exactly why they’ve hurt me. i’ll spend an unreasonable amount of time choosing my words and trying to explain a situation from every possible angle, convinced that if i can communicate my feelings clearly enough, the other person will finally understand. sometimes i’ll rehearse the conversation while washing dishes or compose a message in my notes app that becomes so long it probably deserves its own table of contents. and the frustrating thing is that i often know, before any of this begins, that the person i’m trying to reach has shown very little interest in understanding me.

it is exhausting having to explain your pain to the person who caused it. the conversation becomes an exercise in providing evidence. you describe what happened and they question your interpretation. then, you explain how it affected you and suddenly you’re discussing whether your reaction was reasonable. by the end, you’ve shared considerably more than you intended and somehow feel responsible for making the whole exchange less uncomfortable for them.

Subscribe

i’ve been thinking about the expression

never bleed in front of sharks

. it sounds like the sort of advice that belongs in a slightly threatening motivational quote, but i’ve grown rather fond of the sentiment. some people are perfectly capable of recognising where you’re vulnerable without having much interest in treating that knowledge carefully. and when we’re desperate to be understood, we can end up revealing the most sensitive parts of ourselves to the very people who have repeatedly demonstrated that they don’t know what to do with them.

Continue reading this post for free, courtesy of ayushi thakkar.

Claim my free post

Or purchase a paid subscription.

Previous

Next