Letter of Rec #122: Septemberrrrrrrrrr

I’m ready for:

• real shoes — closed toe, structured, supportive, sleek. The flip flops have been put away and I’m early stage thinking about boots like this (with slim, cropped flare pants and extravagant jackets) and this (slouchy jeans, a relaxed crew neck knit, at least 27 inches of pearl). More immediately, these distressed loafers from Tod’s accomplish the task order of balancing preppy (the shape) and too cool for that shit (the distressed finish). Great with all the silky and slinky pants (and shorts! These are a hardddddddddddddddd rec) I should like to keep wearing until I absolutely can’t. And these high vamp ballet flats from By Far will do wtvr Phoebe Philo’s promise to do too. So prob worth it.

• high waist jeans — after all that talk of continuing to wear silky slinky pants, the other thing is that I just want to zip up into some strict form over here! Aflalo’s Bronte is still my preferred cut (they will slice your vagina lips in half, but it’s worth it), ideally with the destination bb tees that I’ve had on all summer.

  

  • and these cowboy clogs (to return to bullet one) that read a little dutch in a way I am surprised to love.

  • On this note, the old west has come and it has stayed, huh? The commercial belt buckles are getting more elaborate and I like it.

• And a new trend! Hit me with something unexpected. Not a cowboy boot (though I’ll wear her) or a bandana in my hair (coming into fall with me too), but a concept I did not see coming, wrapped in an intellectual yearning I could feel but not yet see. Nothing fires me up more.

  • maybe the new in q, for me at least, is BAGS. So many populating my browser lately.

    • Here’s the last of Dries’ brocade cummerbunds on NAP btw

    • Also though, I’ve become obsessed with chokers. Low key Victorian, rows and rows of beads or metal — I think it’s a great contrast to the inevitable crew neck knits (have this one, amazing neckline) that will cover us through the coming months (year?).

• Also ready for: a routine that accommodates 70% stimulation and 30% entertainment for my kids plus freedom for me, from the 75-pound invisible weight vest that possesses my upper body for the time they’re home between camp/school without a defined routine. I hate to complain but I never feel the spectacular double standard of womanhood (which, if I’m being honest, is an internalized standard that I’m the one holding myself to) so intensely as when I am reminded that I have chosen to be a full time mom and to full time work. I’m not willing to give either up, but then I spend weeks feeling like an atomic bomb that can detonate at any second. It’s not a sustainable strategy. Lots of talk lately about what our culture does and does not do for postpartum women and in a way, after a woman has a child, she’s really never not postpartum again, which I say with not a twinge of negative connotation. It’s gorgeous and brings chaos and texture and meaning to the shape of my days — not just because of my actual children but also because spending time with them or choosing not to be with them is a reminder of what I’m not willing to give up. What is for me, what I need to feel peace. But the part of the conversation I’m most interested in re women and care really pertains to the expectations that become so ingrained in the fabric of how we fantasize about who we become and what we make of our grown-up lives. What is realistic about what we expect of ourselves? Abie always says that I’m part of a generation of first timers who are fixing while flying: figuring out for the first time in the history of humanity how to eat the world in my public life and to keep the deliciously warm, nurturing home I grew up, that I want for my kids. I’m wedged between this conflict almost all the time to various degrees of magnitude but during these shapeless days, when I’m not here or there, is when it’s all I can think about.

New things I’m doing that I recommend:

• Wearing lip liner. I put it on then kind of smudge it and then apply a balm or a gloss to the center of my lips and I’m off on my merry way. Especially good when my hair is wild, or alternatively when it’s super slicked back. Here’s yday morning —

  

  The lip liner is from Pat McGrath’s collection for LV, I interchange use of like 3, they’re all pretty good but the best shades with my lip color are Nude Reverie, Nude Quest and Rose Whisper.

• That’s it. That’s the one new thing. Unless you care that I stopped putting avocado IN my salads and instead now mash it into my salad DRESSING. You will never go wrong with an avocado/lemon or lime/olive oil/salt-pepper combo. Esp when you’re throwing figs or peaches or blueberries or grapes into the salad in question.

Jewelry

• Has been taking up much more of my time these days and I love it.

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  Because it’s a completely different creative expression for me and it turns out that visualizing a creative idea into life is a similar kind of emotional rollercoaster to writing one: it takes everything out of you but when it delivers there is no more transformative kind of satisfaction. But when it falls flat, beating the shit out of yourself doesn’t do much to make the next iteration better. (By now I know that the meal will be better tomorrow.) In both instances (writing, designing), a ruthless connection to self, truth and spirit are the ingredients that make magic come to life. It’s a relief to know you can find your flow across different modalities no matter how new to them you are. The one thing I’ll say is that with writing, you are in such complete control of your work. With making anything, you really have to rely on the various hands that need to touch the product to make it come alive. But this is also why I love it — my anti-social ass can use more team work and collaboration. I didn’t know how badly I craved working with my family. For context: my dad has been running a jewelry business that has traversed various specialities over its 40-year lifespan from buying and selling 18-22k Italian gold chains to making his own jewelry with semi-precious colored stones, to opening stores on cruise ships, to most recently pursuing high jewelry — and specifically zeroing in on rare and extremely expensive gem stones (like an alexandrite). This charge has been led by my older brother Haim, a Swedish architect at heart who cannot stand asymmetry. He oversees production and as you can guess, the contrast between our styles has been a real challenge to both of our essences (I am more like a hungry raccoon inside of a garbage can — and I love an unexpected inclusion in a stone. The milkier the emerald, the better for me!!). One of my other brothers, Henry, runs sales and now here I am asking ye olde 18k gold snobs if they’ll slap a 6 ct lab grown diamond into a plank of sterling silver. It is a daily challenge to be sure but one that has on balance been more energizing and rewarding than it is draining because I welcome it, and because they’re my brothers. It’s family. These are relationships worth pursuing, nurturing, sustaining. A business worth fighting to root. I’m so struck by what is playing out as I realize that when the possibility of breakage is a non-starter in your head, (“fuck it! We’re not suited to work together!”), there are so many creative and effective paths to harmony that can get you the outcome you want.

  Craziest thing I’ve made Haim do lately:

  

  figure out how to attach this mother of pearl dolphin wreath to 5 strands of blue tiger eye *and* hang a pendant that’s been in their stock for years (alexandrite at center with a halo of diamonds around it) toff the bottom of it. My dad always used to joke that of his 3 sons, his daughter has the biggest balls and I kind of get why now!!! Making things like this is an expensive risk. You really have to bring yourself to believe in yourself to invest (…in yourself) — and to put in the work to make it feel worth it.

Recent work

• From the valley of my other passion: styling in such a way that makes you feel like you could do it too: the third in my series for Zara launched last week —

  

  it’s a preview of Fall and was one of the more interesting set of racks to work with because there were limited clothes, which forced me to get a lot more creative about making looks work, and because it got me going a little thinking about Fall.

  

  

  Turns out I’m dying for a pair of lady kitten heels (probably influenced by these Pradas) and a pant suit that comes with a shrunken blazer. Also, CHOKERS!!!

  

  

The last thing is this artwork I saw last week. The effect it had on me was instant butt-cheek-unclench —

I’m such a firm believer that if you really want something, it’s because on some other timeline, it’s already yours — you crave reconnection more than anything else — and somehow this thing reminded me of that. Prints are for sale here.

That’s it from me today. Next week we start a month long series entitled WHAT THE HELL TO WEAR IN SEPTEMBER. The most precarious month in the world to dress for, when you don’t want to be in public pajamas anymore but it’s too early for real fall clothes. Your guess is as good as mine at this juncture but I’m confident we’ll have a better idea by next week.

Have a great last week of liminal floating in the meantime. Signed yours with a lot of love,

Leandra